I have changed so much over the past two years and I am vibrating at a much higher frequency as a result. I can feel the consciousness of the planet rising as well. I became a divine sovereign last year which has allowed me to cast anything evil away from me and back to its source X 2. I got connected to an amazing reiki master who healed me from the inside out. I also became a reiki master myself, although I only use it on myself and my dogs. I got a new puppy. A sweet, tiny white and chocolate Yorkie. I'm still in therapy and I thank God every day for my therapist. I have boundaries now. I never had them before. I see the world through a whole new lens and I still have bad days, but I have a lot more good ones and that is a huge win. I strongly feel that a lot of the Christian doctrines that we were all programmed to follow unconditionally have it all wrong. I feel this because I am beginning to connect to my higher self more and more and this is the message I am getting. I am a lot more intuitive than I ever thought I was. Which is another thing that has come to the surface from all the energy and light work I have been doing.
Looking back at my past posts I can feel the utter agony in some of them and in others I feel overwhelming joy. Its kind of how life is right? I started this blog because I wanted people to know that even someone as broken as me could know Christ and maybe the person reading my words might feel like they too could get to know Christ. It was a mission based on love. I still feel driven to share this message even though my thoughts on Christianity have changed a bit. I know that Christ was the first truly mystic healer. I know this, but that is not the Jesus you will hear about in the bible. I know there are so many things that Christians do that is so far removed from Christ that they should be ashamed to even say the word Christian. But that is their journey, not mine. And the truly wonderful thing about life is the karmic leveling up that happens. And trust me, I have had my share of karmic leveling. That is why I strive to lead a good life and always do the right things and to be positive and encouraging. And I fail at all of that regularly. No human is immune from sin.
I wasted a lot of posts on my daughter who is an addict. Those posts are painful to read. I will not do that anymore. This blog is about me and my journey and my message. Not hers. Each message was so hopeful that this would be the moment that she gave up drugs and came back to me. None of them were that moment. And the truth is that until she decides she needs to be sober, she will not be sober. I will continue to hope and pray for her until the day I leave this earth. As a mother, I do not know how to do anything different.
My life has become something I am really settling into. I have peace and joy and I guard them with my life. I refuse to let anyone or anything steal my joy. Period. I worked way too hard for it. I look forward to every single new day with the giddiness of a child. I am in a groove at work that I am so thankful for. I am 10 days away from my 11th anniversary at my work and when I tell you that was a feat, you better believe it. I am 10 pounds from my goal weight. That is another story entirely. But there is that. I am happy. That is not to say that I don't struggle because what would life be without a struggle here or there? Right?
I can't say I'll be back on here writing anytime soon. I write a lot in my journal. That has become my therapy as well. But then again, I'm writing only to the universe as I am certain no one ever reads my blog posts, but for some strange reason, I can't let this domain go or this blog, so I'll see you when I see you.
Peace out!
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