It's Been A Year

I have been writing in this blog for 6 years. 6 YEARS!!!!!!!! I have lived a lot of life in 6 years. I have had the same job for 6 years. Actually going on 8 now. I have always been a "runner" at work. If I get pissed off or things get difficult, I run to another job. 8 years ago God put this amazing woman in my life who has been a constant source of guidance and encouragement. Every time I thought of running away from my current job, she talked me off the ledge. I feel that God led me to my current job and I belong here. I always joke that my company and I are perfectly, dysfunctionally matched.

In the past 6 years I have written lots of Facebook posts about God and Jesus. They always show up in my memories and they always make me cringe when they do. Not because I'm embarrassed by my Savior, but because that is not the right forum for my words. This is. This blog is. Facebook is evil. I have a hate, hate relationship with Facebook. So the thought that I have been so vulnerable and shared so many of my words on that forum in the past makes me cringe.

This is only my second post this year. It's been a year. I bought a house, sold a house, lost my two boxer's to some terrible health problems due to old age and just recently got a new Yorkie puppy. I have suffered through my oldest daughter and her drama and her substance abuse among many other things. I have watched my youngest daughter build an amazing business and purchase a store which is not easy, but she always perseveres and I like to think that I have something to do with her fortitude. I've never been a quitter. I had always hoped to instill that in my children.

Someone I follow on Instagram recently posted this text from Jesus Calling "Trust Me with every fiber of your being! What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me. One aspect of this is the degree to which you trust Me in a crisis or major decision. Some people fail miserably here, while others are at their best in tough times. Another aspect is even more telling: the constancy of your trust in Me. People who rely on Me in the midst of adversity may forget about Me when life is flowing smoothly. Difficult times can jolt you into awareness of your need for Me, whereas smooth sailing can lull you into the stupor of self-sufficiency. I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith. You may think that no one notices, but the One who is always beside you sees everything—and rejoices. Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence."

These words speak to me because I am coming to a place in my faith where I trust God to guide me down the right path. I have had a lot of really great moments and a lot of really bad moments this year and God was with me through it all. When I am happy I rejoice with Him and I thank Him for my amazing life! When I am sad and I struggle, I move closer to God in order to soak up His loving grace, so through both the good and bad this year God has been there with me.

It has definitely been a year and although I have not written about it that much, God has been a constant presence in my life this year. Through it all. Next year when the spirit moves me, I will do a better job of documenting it on my blog! Looking back on my words is always so comforting and I feel like so many of them come straight from God!

Lord I love You with all of my heart. My only prayer today is that I seek You and I feel You and I depend on You like I depend on the air I breath into my lungs! When I lay my head down every night and I ask you to watch over me and my babies and my babies babies, I know that You are.