I woke up today thinking of the new doctor I'm going to call for mom. I am not fond of her current doctor at all and this one seems to really have a heart for old people. I hope they will have an opening.
Not long after having that thought I thanked God for putting me in a job where my boss is so flexible that I can take mom where I need to. I work really hard for my company. I give up a lot of holidays and weekends and I work hard. Its all I know. Its what my sweet daddy taught me and one of the perks for working hard is something much more valuable to me than money right now. Flexibility. God did that though. I didn't know 5 years ago that I would be in a situation where I would need flexibility, but God did.
This year has been rough for me. Filled with unhappiness and me not worshipping the way I love to worship, by giving back. And that makes me so sad. I miss the Lord's daily presence in my life. I miss praying to Him and spending time with Him. These are things I have control of and yet I fall short. And it takes watching an episode of Preacher's of LA for me to realize this. God is always there. Always around me. He made me realize that He missed me too at that very moment.
I love that song, I'm coming back to the heart of worship. It always makes me feel good. I'm singing it right now with my terrible voice.
So back to Jesus. Financially this has been a rough year too, but I always just give that to God because I can't sit around and worry about my finances, however I have been worried sick about my finances. I needed a new windshield, new pool pump, filter and pool sweeper and I needed my trees trimmed badly. That's $3000 gone. And I don't save for a rainy day. I just have faith that God will work it out for me. And guess what. He did it again. He worked it out for me. I had the money I needed when I needed it because He knows when I have money I will give it to someone else who needs it when He calls me to do so.
So let's recap. I've been a terrible daughter in Christ. I haven't prayed, I've missed my King. I have been consumed with work because that helps me not think of my unhappiness. And the result was that God was still here, still loving me, still walking with me and still helping me through it all. His faith in ME is more than I deserve, but I'm so thankful for it.
Sometimes we fall in life. We do. Sometimes it is so hard to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and move forward when we feel like the weight of the world is on our shoulders, but we must never lose sight of the One who made us because He never loses sight of us.
Lord I love you with all my heart and soul! I pray today that anyone who might find these words will find new strength because of them and choose to follow you Lord and just have faith that You will give them what they need when they need it, even if it takes 5 years for it to happen you are working things out for them this very moment. Lord that is so hard for our human minds to comprehend, but it all really comes down to faith and Lord I have faith in You! amen
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