It's Been A Year

I have been writing in this blog for 6 years. 6 YEARS!!!!!!!! I have lived a lot of life in 6 years. I have had the same job for 6 years. Actually going on 8 now. I have always been a "runner" at work. If I get pissed off or things get difficult, I run to another job. 8 years ago God put this amazing woman in my life who has been a constant source of guidance and encouragement. Every time I thought of running away from my current job, she talked me off the ledge. I feel that God led me to my current job and I belong here. I always joke that my company and I are perfectly, dysfunctionally matched.

In the past 6 years I have written lots of Facebook posts about God and Jesus. They always show up in my memories and they always make me cringe when they do. Not because I'm embarrassed by my Savior, but because that is not the right forum for my words. This is. This blog is. Facebook is evil. I have a hate, hate relationship with Facebook. So the thought that I have been so vulnerable and shared so many of my words on that forum in the past makes me cringe.

This is only my second post this year. It's been a year. I bought a house, sold a house, lost my two boxer's to some terrible health problems due to old age and just recently got a new Yorkie puppy. I have suffered through my oldest daughter and her drama and her substance abuse among many other things. I have watched my youngest daughter build an amazing business and purchase a store which is not easy, but she always perseveres and I like to think that I have something to do with her fortitude. I've never been a quitter. I had always hoped to instill that in my children.

Someone I follow on Instagram recently posted this text from Jesus Calling "Trust Me with every fiber of your being! What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me. One aspect of this is the degree to which you trust Me in a crisis or major decision. Some people fail miserably here, while others are at their best in tough times. Another aspect is even more telling: the constancy of your trust in Me. People who rely on Me in the midst of adversity may forget about Me when life is flowing smoothly. Difficult times can jolt you into awareness of your need for Me, whereas smooth sailing can lull you into the stupor of self-sufficiency. I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith. You may think that no one notices, but the One who is always beside you sees everything—and rejoices. Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence."

These words speak to me because I am coming to a place in my faith where I trust God to guide me down the right path. I have had a lot of really great moments and a lot of really bad moments this year and God was with me through it all. When I am happy I rejoice with Him and I thank Him for my amazing life! When I am sad and I struggle, I move closer to God in order to soak up His loving grace, so through both the good and bad this year God has been there with me.

It has definitely been a year and although I have not written about it that much, God has been a constant presence in my life this year. Through it all. Next year when the spirit moves me, I will do a better job of documenting it on my blog! Looking back on my words is always so comforting and I feel like so many of them come straight from God!

Lord I love You with all of my heart. My only prayer today is that I seek You and I feel You and I depend on You like I depend on the air I breath into my lungs! When I lay my head down every night and I ask you to watch over me and my babies and my babies babies, I know that You are.

I Found God

Recently I was thinking how God has always been there, helping me even when I couldn't help myself. I started working right out of high school. I worked in high school as well to pay for my car that I loved so much, so when I got married 2 weeks after graduating and moved to a much larger town I started looking for work. The couple we leased our duplex from knew of an open receptionist position at a local prominent oil company. I applied for the job and got it. Along with being the receptionist, I entered all the data into the personal computers. This was 1984. Our computers had 40MB of storage. If the computers or the network malfunctioned I had to fix them because everyone else in the office was completely intimidated by computers. I worked there for 7 years. I left for a job as a data entry clerk really for a brokerage firm, but my boss and I got along really well and she encouraged me to automate the dividend reinvestment program using Microsoft Excel. So I did. We tripled the program in size after that.

Every single job after that brokerage firm wanted me for my computer skills. My boss at Ernst & Young helped me get my first real technical position as a Novell Network Administrator/Lotus Notes Developer and the rest is history. I always tell people, my career chose me I didn't choose it. But looking back, I believe that God had a hand in it. He was helping me even before I knew to give Him praise.

Fast forward 30 years (wow I'm old) and I'm driving to work this past week and just feel an overwhelming feeling of thanks to God. He was waiting for me in 2003 when I finally became a real believer. I believed before then and I even got baptized, but I was not saved. God saved me in 2003. He showed up for me in so many profound ways after that and literally blew my mind. I learned what it means to be truly forgiven for my sins. Prior to that I thought my sin was just too big. But it wasn't. God saved my daughter, by healing her from a terrible disease. And God crushed one of my enemies at my work. Of course God has been there for many other things through the years, but those 3 really shook me to my core.

I worship my King every single day of my life. I worship daily....the name of this blog, but it is just part of who I am. Since I became a true believer and God saved me, my life gets better every year. I have trials and tribulations and I still sin. I do stupid things that get me in trouble, but God is still here with me leading me down a better path. Recently I have been buying and selling a house. It is very stressful. But I pray every single day for faith. It is with blind faith that I continue down this path because who knows what will happen when I go to close on two houses in one day? I have no idea, but I trust God to work it out on my behalf, so I don't have to stress over it. Where I end up on March 1st will be where God needs me to be. That is all I know. So I'm going to keep packing and planning until He sends me in another direction. For some reason I feel this is what He wants me to do, so I'm doing it.

I think when we love God even in the most challenging times of our lives it just brings us closer to Him. But that is not a lesson that is easy to learn. So often we want to blame God. Why are you doing this to me God? This is a question I often hear that I want to answer by simply saying God is doing this to you to bring you closer to Him. Rely on Him. Not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us; Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Believe it and do it! And trust me, your life will be forever changed!