Forgivable

It's that time of year again, when I start to look inward. This year has been another rough year for me, but also a really good year at the same time. My oldest daughter is sober. My youngest daughter is thriving at work and minus a 200 pound weight off her shoulders. 

This year broke me down so badly that I fell into the arms of Christ. Literally fell. It reminded me that I can not live this life without being close to my Savior. I just can't do it. And I never would have survived without Jesus. Truly. I'm ready for the next chapter. I want to live the rest of my life full of pure joy. 

I want to remind myself that I will fall again. I will falter again, but God waits for me every single time and I don't deservce His grace, but I sure am thankful for it. 

I want to reinvent myself every single day. I want to thrive, not just survive. My people are good and now it's time for me to be good. I am in a much better place than I started out this year and for that too I am thankful. 

This song speaks to me:

Forgivable

To the guilty and reckless
To the too far gone

You think you don’t deserve
To ever hear the words

Child, welcome back home
All the pain that you’re holding

All the shame that you hide
You think you don’t deserve

To ever hear the words
Child, you’re still mine

Come as you are
Not as you should be

Come to the table
Taste and see

There is a love that won’t let go
Just look at the cross and you will know

No matter how much you messed up 
You are still forgivable

If there is a grace beyond compare
To even the ones who nailed Him there

Then even your guilt and shame
Your worst mistakes can be restored

You are still forgivable
You are still forgivable

Speak to me Lord

 Recently there has been a lot of turmoil in my life from a very unexpected source. I have felt sincerely like my heart was being ripped from my chest. The pain is less each day which I am thankful for. I'm sitting here listening to this song called "Bank" by NeedToBreathe which is a song that God is basically is singing to us. The lyrics are amazing:

I wanna hold you close but never hold you back

Just like the banks to the river

(Oh) And if you ever feel like you are not enough

I'm gonna break all your mirrors

(Oh) I wanna be there when the darkness closes in

To make the truth a little clearer

(Oh) I wanna hold you close but never hold you back

I'll be the banks for your river

This song has a really catchy tune too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqifjBtNzLw

As I am listening, I think to myself, all I really need in this life is God. I have felt so alone going through this turmoil, but at the end of the day as long as I have Christ I am never alone. He has led me to this life and He will lead me through it. Wiser. For sure.

The past 6 months have been so hard for me, but I am emerging stronger than ever and that is a God thing friends. I wish I could count how many times I fall apart and God shows up and puts me back together, like renovating a house over and over. I am a work in progress, but guess what?? I have never lost my faith. I wholeheartedly believe God will save me every single time I am in peril. And He does.

What a miraculous gift!!

And the verse for the day on Bible Gateway is of course hand picked for me as always:

The Lord will vindicate me; your love, Lord, endures forever— do not abandon the works of your hands.

Psalm 138:8

Be Kind

My thoughts have been consumed lately with a co-worker whose husband is battling a very aggressive cancer. I now consider her a friend, but there have been moments when this person and I have not seen eye to eye and all I can think of is how bad that makes me feel now. I’m reminded of a post I read that basically reminds you to be kind because you never know what someone is going through. And I want to extend that to; you never know what they will be going through either. So just be kind always.

Kindness costs nothing. And you honor Christ when you are kind to your fellow man.

I tell my granddaughter all the time when she is being mean to her sister that she needs to think of what Jesus would do because He would never be mean. Jesus leads with love.

This bible verse struck me because it literally mentions “co-worker” and speaks to Jesus kindness:

_____________________________________________________________

2 Corinthians 6:1-13

As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. For he says,

“In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.”

I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.

We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you.  We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

_____________________________________________________________

Lord today I pray that your loving kindness consumes every cell in my body and I lead with love and kindness from this day forward. Please cover my friend and her husband with your love and please bring them peace Lord. 

In your precious name, amen.

God where you lead I will follow

I'm sitting here about to get ready to go close on a home that I am buying two streets over from Katie. Buying and selling houses is so stressful and as I sit here worrying and listening to my worship music a thought crosses my consciousness, "all you can do is have faith". I gave all of the house stuff to God because I was not equipped to deal with that and everything else in my life. And I trusted God to send me where I needed to be and I feel that He has.

God where you lead I will follow. Amen. 

AND THEN.... this song from TobyMac comes on right before I am about to leave. "Then everything else just falls in line"

.... Lord I feel you. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGukMchIcDE

Looking for a way out, for a way out
I was so caught up that I couldn't find a way out
Find a way out, yeah
Playing through my weakness, can I beat this?

Can I crack this surface?
Into to the deepness, the deepness
Oh, where I've exhausted all my ways, all my ways
And all the noise begins to fade

It's You
Then everything else just falls in line
You
You will always hold this heart of mine
It's You, it's You
Lord, it's You
Then everything else just falls in line

It's You, it's You
Then everything else just falls in line
(Aye, aye, aye, aye)
It's You, it's You
Then everything else just falls in line

I'm into the newness, the new bliss (bliss)
Me and You together, tell me how to loop this
To loop this-this-this-this-this
To go on forever, road of crescendo, goodbye limbo
Like a new day dawning
Show me the window, the window

Where I can see it's You
Then everything else just falls in line
You
You will always hold this heart of mine
It's You (You), it's You (You)
Lord, it's You (You)
Then everything else just falls in line

It's You (You), it's You (You)
Then everything else just falls in line
(Aye, aye, aye, aye)
It's You (You), it's You (You)
Then everything else just falls in line

Don't make no sense without You (without You)
Don't make no sense at all (no sense at all)
Don't make no sense without You (without You)
Don't make no sense at all (no sense at all, no sense at all)

It don't make no sense without You
It don't make no sense at all (no sense at all)
Don't make no sense without You
Don't make no sense at all (no sense at all)

I can't do this life without You
I can't do this life at all (this life at all)
It don't make no sense without You
It don't make no sense at all (no sense at all)

It's You (You, You, You)
(Aye, aye, aye, aye)
It's You (You, You, You)
Then everything else just falls in line
You (You)
You will always hold this heart of mine
It's You (You), it's You (You)
Lord, it's You (You)
Then everything else just falls in line

Ain't no one else
Ain't no one else will do
It's You, it's You
Then everything else just falls in line
Ain't no one else
Ain't no one else will do
It's You, it's You
Then everything else just falls in line

Don't make no sense without You (ain't no one else, ain't no one else will do)
Don't make no sense at all (it's You, it's You)
Don't make no sense without You (ain't no one else, ain't no one else will do)
Don't make no sense at all (it's You, it's You)

Be Reconciled to God

2024 was an interesting year. We didn't really have a normal Christmas this year because I had to keep my house a certain way for showings and I didn't want to keep any presents here that could be easily taken. I did successfully sell my house and buy another one. We close next month. I have learned to trust this process. I have the most amazing realtors and I trust them. That takes a lot of stress off me.

I am still healing from my Bell's palsy. It is a journey for sure. And the immense pain you feel is not something I was prepared for. So many days I have cried and begged God to heal me which He is doing. Today is 3 weeks since my symptoms began and I can move my face and most of the pain is gone. My doctor ordered an MRI that I keep rescheduling because I'm afraid. I need to have faith that it will all work out. 

My love for worship music has been completely renewed. That is how I worship. And I missed it and I need it in my life. 

Today I was listening to Lauren Daigle, You Say.  I love this song. I sent this to my granddaughter who loves going to church and bible study with her friends which makes my heart nearly explode from my chest. I like to think all of my talking about Jesus her whole life has brought her closer to God. 

My life is nearly perfect right now and I know its because God saved me and He continues saving me every single day. I know He led me here and I am so grateful. I have to remind myself how He loves me because life happens and I forget. 

This verse form Bible Gateway popped up for me today so I thought I would share it:

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:  that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.  We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.

2 Corinthians 5:18-20

I love this message! 

Lord remind me to reconcile with you every single day. In Jesus name, amen.