Monday afternoon, December 23rd, 2024 I woke up like any normal day, but my neck hurt and I thought for sure I was getting an ear infection. The day prior, I had been trying to get some goo out of my extra bathroom drain with a drain snake and some of the goo shot into my eye, so my eye was not right after that.
I
drove my granddaughter home and the rest of the day my neck was killing me. I happened to glance in the mirror and I was
thinking dang my face looks funny. Tuesday morning I woke up early and the face
was worse so I immediately scheduled a Teladoc appointment to make sure I was
not having a stroke. Why not go to the ER you ask? Because I’ve been twice
before for false alarms and they are mean to me and then they charge me an outrageous
amount of money for my visit. I would just rather not.
The
Teladoc doctor had me go through a series of exercises and diagnosed me with Bell's
palsy. He said it looked mild so that was good. I started on meds at around
11AM that same day. Each day has been a struggle because I can’t really eat or
drink or hear or speak and my eye won’t close so it is in constant pain and my
neck pain STILL has not subsided. It will go away for a minute, but then it
comes right back.
I am a
reasonably healthy person. I work out; I try to eat right most of the time. I
only buy organic produce. I try to do all the things. As I struggle through
these daily challenges I keep thinking that I will never take my health for
granted again. Maybe that is my lesson.
And as
I am sitting here contemplating life, terrified my face will never be the same
I realize that I need to give this to God. I cannot do this one alone. I can’t
sit around and worry. So I turn on Pandora to my Jeremy Camp station and God speaks
to me like He always does. This song from Mercy Me comes on:
Bright Side of Broken
Always look on the bright side
Is what they're sayin'
But the more appropriate cliché
Is easier, easier said than done
I don't wanna hear what I'm going through
Is just a season
Or that my glass should be half full
When it's in, it's in a million pieces
Life's not over yet
So take a breath
'Cause it gets better
'Cause the bright side of being broken
Is a heart that's busted open
With every break, the light will chase
The darkness away
Yeah, the bright side of being broken
Is in the hands that, that are holding
Every piece, reminding me
That it's gonna be okay
It's gonna be okay
Whoa
It's gonna be okay
Even in the darkest times
There's always hope
What we see as a broken mess
Jesus sees a chance to be made whole
Life's not over yet
So take a breath
'Cause it gets better, oh
'Cause the bright side of being broken
Is a heart that's busted open
With every break, the light will chase
The darkness away
Yeah, the bright side of being broken
Is in the hands that, that are holding
Every piece, reminding me
That it's gonna be okay
It's gonna be okay
Whoa
It's gonna be okay
And
all I can think of is “Why would I doubt you now?”
My
life is not perfect. I am a sinner and I am broken, but God gave me my babies.
He gave me my career. He gave me this heart so full of love and He gave me
hope. He saved my oldest daughter, over and over. He gave me another daughter
so wise beyond her years that her smile alone literally heals me from the
inside out. I have so many gifts from God that I am thankful for.
God is
telling me today this is a minor setback and I need to remember that fear and
worry are for the faithless. My situation is not ideal, but it could be so much
worse and for that I am grateful.
Lord,
I hear you. I feel your presence in my life like the lion that is tattooed on
my arm and I will overcome.
Amen.
