Growing up we never went to church. We were the family that might show up on Christmas or Easter or we might not. I had no idea what it meant to give my life to Christ. I had no idea really who Christ was. And then God sent me to work with a bunch of southern women just after graduating from high school at a small oil company in Corsicana, Texas and they really changed my life forever. These women raised me. They taught me about church and God. They taught me about family and how to love your children and to give them everything you have. They taught me how to dress and wear make up and to never leave the house without looking your best. And I loved them all so much. I spent 7 years with them working at this oil company from the age of 18 to 25. It was so difficult to leave there, but God had bigger plans for me.
Through the years I have not always made the best decisions. I think it is mainly because I've never had a really strong support system. I've always felt like I had to do everything myself and to this day that has not changed. If I want something I have to figure out how to get it for myself and its only been recently that I have been able to do that. My entire life revolved around my kids and making sure they had the best life possible, so nothing has ever really been about me. And yet I'm sitting here typing this message still feeling guilty that while I gave my daughters as much love as I could and as many "things" as I could, I failed to teach them the most important life lesson.
If I didn't have God I would not be here. It is really and truly that simple for me. When I feel underappreciated and overworked God taps me on the shoulder and says "hey kid....you're gonna be ok". He lifts me up when I'm down and most importantly He is always with me. Cheering me on, just like my dad always did. Without God's love and supreme guidance my life would be meaningless. I hope and pray that someday my daughter's will read these words that I have written and come to know Christ.
Having a relationship with Christ is so easy. It took me a long time to figure this out, but its really between me and God. It's not about other people. It's not about Church. It's not about giving anything up. It's not about any of that meaningless nonsense. All you have to do is just be. BE with Christ. Worship Him with your actions. Thank Him for loving you. Love your neighbors as you love yourself. Read a bible verse. You can even put a bible app on your phone. The point I'm making is that it's all internal. Sure you can go to church and be with other believers and trust me some of them will change your life. Others will disappoint you immensely. But at the end of the day it's not about them, it's about you and Jesus. I want so badly for my girls to understand this and believe it and live their lives with God implanted so deeply in their hearts that nothing could ever hurt them. With God all things are possible and with God their enemies will be crushed.
I will close with this song by Matt Maher that God just whispered in my ear and a prayer; Lord thank you for finding your way into my heart and changing me forever. Whether it was the sweet little old ladies at Wheelock Oil Company who helped you or something else makes no difference to me. Lord I need you. Every hour I need you. Please never leave my side. Amen
Lord, I Need You
Matt Maher
Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
To teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
When I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay
Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuvfMDhTyMA
