Thank You Jesus!

My mom will be 80 years old this year and she's in pretty decent health. She still drives and she still manages to piddle around her little apartment even though she uses a walker and has terrible arthritis. Ever since dad passed away in 2005, my mom has talked about the "spirits" around her. She sees them and hears them and smells them. This is such a foreign concept to me. I have told her for years that if her faith was strong enough Jesus would take the spirits away, but they persisted. I prayed about it, but not wholeheartedly I don't think.

Recently mom called me at work to tell me a disgusting story about one of her spirits and I had just heard enough. Why would someone torment an old lady like this. Lets suppose what she is describing is really real to  her, whether I experience any of that in her presence or not and it really moved me so I prayed really hard to Jesus that night and the next time. But it was a different kind of prayer. I prayed with the expectation that Jesus would save her. That He had to because no one else could and I just could not stand the thought of her suffering another day from this.

This was two days ago. Today mom called me and said guess what. I said what and she said she could not hear the spirits anymore. She thought, well I'll put on my hearing aid and then see and still she heard only silence. She said wow Jesus must have heard my prayer. I didn't tell her how hard I had been praying or the depth to which I begged my savior to save my mom from this torture, but He heard me and after I got off the phone with her I just broke down and cried. I wanted this to happen so badly and it did and Jesus did that for me and my mom and of course those thoughts of not being worthy started to creep in, but I am worthy and I don't pray a lot for big things because I know God has His hands full, but I wanted this one so bad and all I could think was that one moment of silence for her was worth a million dollars to me.

I could not be more dedicated to loving and serving Christ and I dote on Him every chance I get and I give Him the glory and I guess I should expect all my prayers to be answered, but I know they won't be. I am so happy this one was.

So I had to document this occasion although I know I will write about this many more times in my lifetime and just say Thank You Lord for loving me so much and for listening and for giving my mom peace. I do not deserve you, but I AM working on it!

When Happiness Eludes You

Are you happy? Do you wonder when you will ever find happiness? Do you think that peace and happiness are elusive. Something other people have, but definitely not you. Do you say to yourself, "I'm not rich enough. I'm not thin enough. I'm not popular enough."

I have found that there is only one path to happiness and that is by following Christ. I'm not saying that I don't still have bad days or that I still don't tell myself I'm not good enough, but those days are completely overshadowed by my good days. Days when I sing at the top of my lungs how much I love Jesus and I just soak Him in and breathe His life into my entire being.

If you are not following Christ and you think you are happy you are just lying to yourself. You are in denial. You are stubborn and won't allow your own ego to strip it all away long enough for Him to be a part of your soul and I feel bad for you. And I have a little secret to share with you, He's waiting. It doesn't matter how long it takes and it doesn't matter how big your sin is. Give it to Him and let him carry that burden because otherwise He died for us for nothing.

You torture yourself when you think there is no way that Jesus could love YOU because you are too broken. Its just not true. He absolutely loves you and he's waiting for you to walk with Him.

Lord I pray to you that someone reads these words today and feels your presence as they do. And I pray that you will lead them to a life that may not be perfect, but will be filled with happiness and a joy that they thought was impossible! Thank you Lord for being by my side and showing me what is really important in my life. I love you so very much Lord. Amen....

Jesus Is Lord

Today I am listening to Pandora and I am filled with LOVE. I love Jesus so much I want to shout it from the rooftops. I would normally post something on Facebook, but I think people are sick of seeing me loving Jesus so much on Facebook, so I'll just write about what He has done for me today. Jesus loves me unconditionally in spite of my sins. Yes I sin. A lot. I'm not proud of it and I do strive to be a good person, but I falter daily. And it doesn't matter because He still loves me.

But getting here as been a journey for me. I used to be frightened of God as a child and young adult. I remember sitting in church and the pastor saying if you want to be saved to come down to the front of the church and let us pray with you. My heart would race and I would not go. Partially because I am inherently shy, but also because I was afraid.  what does this mean? Where do I go from here? I would be running through all these scenarios as my heart raced and I would be paralyzed with fear. I couldn't hear Jesus voice back then like I do now or see Him moving in my life. But that's because my faith wasn't strong enough.

Through the years and the hard times I have sought out the Lord in times of sorrow and sadness and my faith has become infallible. There will always be times when I am not as close to God as I should be, but I am never really that far away. And a song will come on that reminds me of our journey together and I will tear up and look at my picture of Jesus I have on my desk and I'll hear Him whisper softly to me.....and I'm so grateful. Undeserving....but nonetheless grateful!
Closing with these awesome lyrics from Hillsong's "Where We Belong"...

We run to Your Throne
Where we belong
Every heart will sing
That Jesus is Lord
Casting all else aside
For the joy of our Christ
Let Your Glory fall
Our hearts are filled with Your Fire